i'm an emotional psycho and God is good.

so i'm done with capitalization, just so you know.

after we won district, we trained very hard (2-a-days) for the next two weeks for the provincial tournament. last tuesday we left for matuga (about an hour away from mombasa) on our way to stay at a girl's boarding school there. it was a bit of an...experience. bathing out of buckets, sleeping without mosquito nets, and eating (apparently, though i didn't notice) not the greatest food. on our second night, i was incredibly worn out, having only gotten, at most, 2 hours of sleep the night before (we woke at 4:30 to train). then, through a series of events involving a stolen bucket and a borrowed cell phone i ended up in a dark corner bawling my eyes out and telling God that his sticking me here in africa wasn't a very nice thing to do and that i was really at the breaking point. just a few minutes later a teacher from another school walked by and saw that i was a blubbering mess. she was nearly frantic to make me feel better/stop crying. one thing led to another, and next thing i know i'm talking to some canadian girl on the phone and making plans to meet her on the following saturday. since that night, things have been so much better--not that there won't be hard times. but i've been able to get the focus off myself, which was good because the following day was difficult, we had to send one of the players, mercy, home because her sister, to whom she was very close, had passed away (pray for her). it was so hard on the team. there was a positive aspect that came out of it, however. everyone seemed to realize they were being selfish and unnecessarily negative, and they played their last game truly as a team and with the best attitude i've seen yet.

so, the matuga trip was apparently a turning point for me as well as a sort of "coming out party." previously, i'd been so busy and lazy that i hadn't bothered really getting out of tudor (the area of town where i live). taking matatus (essentially 15 passenger volkswagon vans) just seemed like more trouble than it was worth, and besides, going to town alone is just lame and boring. but friday morning sandra gave me a call (she and ralph are american missionaries here, they are in their early thirties and have 3 kids, ryan, alyssa, and alana. we go to the same church and they house our "life group," but i hadn't had a chance to hang out with them much, yet.) anyhow, they invited me to come to "old town" with them and go to this awesome coffee shop and prayer walk. "Old town" is--surprisingly--the oldest part of mombasa and also the part with the most muslim influence. it's like a movie set with stone/brick streets that are barely wide enough for a single car, and on both sides are tall 3-5 story buildings with out-hanging balconies. after old town i ended up spending the whole day w/ the thompsons, we ate lunch and then sandra and i talked for hours until it got close to supper and she said i should stay and we'd play games after we ate. much like me, she's not the biggest fan of cooking and, apparently, not most talented either. haha...we made pizzas and it took us probably over two hours. it was so much fun--and they didn't turn out badly. we really hit it off, she and i have so much in common and she is so much fun. this is the biggest answer to prayer. i so needed a friend.

then, on saturday, i met the canadian girl, kelly. (this was my first solo matatu mission in mombasa.) i took her to the awesome coffee shop and we went to fort jesus. she has only been in kenya for about two weeks now, so she was meeting her team that afternoon. i ended up hanging out with the team--about 15 various people (british, irish, canadian, and american)working for various ngo's in mombasa and the surrounding areas--all day (geez, they spend a lot of their time in pubs...). and it was so nice to be around other people who want to "save the world." (although a bit wierd because i'd say probably none of them are christians--another part of my mission field? i think so.)

finally, just the other day i was walking to the store and i happened to meet a few muslim ladies who live across the street from me. i said, "hello," and next thing i know i've been hanging out with them for over two hours and it's already dark! they are a very sweet family, and i think i will become very close to two of the daughters, hanan (21) and ahlaam (16). hanan is to come teach sandra and i how to cook indian food sometime soon, and since i live just across the street, i'm thinking they will feel very comfortable coming over, not having to "go out" really.

the Lord is working. i'm so thankful.

So this is home.

Not gonna lie. I'm finding it difficult to see this place as "home," and I feel like that is imperitive to being "emotionally present." But things are falling into place. My flat is finally settled (it's the second from the top), everything but curtains.

As you may know, I'm helping coach the basketball girls. I love it. They've got me running again most days (and icing my knees most nights). This morning we just did conditioning, so we played football (soccer) and rugby--which I LOVE, pretty sure any game where you get to tackle people is a good game. We've been training really hard (they more than I) and even though they had never even touched a basketball before January, they won district last week! I'm so proud of them, they're just flying through the drills now, and are not nearly as "pansy" as they were when they started out. Not only did they have to get used to basketball, they had to get used to excercise too. Pretty much none of them had run more than several yards before January either. So, tomorrow we're going to the beach to do last minute conditioning before provincials on Tuesday.

As for teaching, I'm sure most of you know, I am not. My work permit has not come through yet, so if you're praying, that would be an excellent thing to pray for. But even when teaching, I've only been given three classes (all freshman); so, obviously I have a lot of free time. I've been spending this week to really pray about what else God wants me to be doing here, and I think I'm going to start volunteering at a library that reaches out to Muslim/Hindu youth and children. (There is a baby monkey outside my window right now.)

If you've talked to me much about my plans to work in Africa, I always planned on living in a hut. That's what I wanted. Instead, the cheapest option I was given to live in has two bedrooms, and I find myself asking God, "What's going on here?!" I feel so comfortable (and drawn to) the "romantic" idea of missions. Working in the slums or just with the very poor. Instead, I'm teaching private school students. As I spent this week trying to figure out where else God can use me, I had a very . . . I'd say providential experience today. I was walking home from the school after practice and I felt compelled to walk down this road--alley, rather. I knew it led to a slightly shady and definitely poor part of the area. (Keeping in mind, this is only blocks away from where I live.) As I was walking, I was asking God how did this area escape me before. I mean, I've been telling God, "I really would like to work in the slums . . ." and they're right there. I'm a missionary for heaven's sake, I'm supposed to notice this business! It is a very small area, surrounded by the fairly well-do-to, or at least comfortable. As I walked through, I talked to some kids for a while, and then passed by a house where a small group of people were taking tea. "Karibu, chai." (Welcome...) and so I was like, why not? I had a seat on a rock and spent about five minutes trying to communicate. Nothing exceptional happened, but I realized that God can use me right here in my neighborhood. If I keep walking through that area (and learning Kiswahili), eventually I'll make friends, and be able to help people and share Christ. So today's lesson, I guess, is don't overlook the needs in your own neighborhood. Apparently, even missionaries do that . . . .