You Cannot Stay Where You Are and Go With God

so, in the study i'm doing, it's starting to talk about surrender to God, and i have honestly not been in the mood to read it. basically, i'm like, "pssh, i'm in africa, how much more surrendered can i be?" so i kept putting off reading it b/c i've already got that area covered. (and also partly b/c i was afraid i'd figure out there was something else God had for me, and i didn't want to know, being already worn out enough just from my physical placement.) so today, i finally decided i need to get on w/ this study after putting it off for a few days, and i didn't really have much else to do b/c i was having (if you ask me) a God-intervened lack of internet connection. halfway through the study, i read this:


"I want Thy plan, O God, for my life. May I be happy and contented whether in the homeland or on the foreign field; whether married or alone, in happiness or sorrow, health or sickness, prosperity or adversity--I want Thy plan, O God, for my life. I want it; oh, I want it!"
-Oswald J. Smith (missionary statesman of Canada)


you could say that i've been feeling pretty burned out lately, being only halfway done and really being ready to come home. i read this and i just wept. i want this to be my prayer. this is not where i am, i'm definitely no david livingstone. reading this was so humbling and helped to remind me of my job here, and how that is first to remain in close relationship to the Lord. nothing can happen if i'm not in close relationship w/ him, "whether in the homeland or on the foreign field." so God reminded me, i can't just wait out this time and expect him to move, i can't just stay here and go with him. it's impossible. so today when i left the house to go visit my friend jemimah at the school, i had this in mind, and the willingness to be serving him again.

it turned out that jemimah is sick, she has ulcers and malaria (please pray for her), and so i had to just return home after sorting a few things for her. i figured i'd have a nice relaxed afternoon and watch a movie or read a book. as i sat down to pride and prejudice, i heard someone knock, and it was a little muslim girl who lives near me. i've tried several times, in vain, to invite her sisters over, but they cannot come, so it was a surprise to see her here. she came in and we had a really nice afternoon, playing uno, listening to shakira, and coloring disney princesses (beauty and the beast transcends all cultures, haha).

after she left, i really thanked God, remembering the need for flexibility and that "in his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps," (proverbs 16:9), which has really been the theme of this last week. when i finally allowed Christ to get my attention, he even brought the opportunity to serve to me.

so my question today is, are you going with God?